1.14.2013

Child Playing

<转>

When we have contemplated the nature of the heart many times, then we will come to understand that this heart is just as it is and can’t be otherwise. We will know that the heart’s ways are just as they are. That’s its nature.

If we see this clearly, then we can detach from thoughts and feelings. And we don’t have to add on anything more if we constantly tell ourselves that “that’s just the way it is.” When the heart truly understands, it lets go of everything. Thinking and feeling will still be there, but that very thinking and feeling will be deprived of power.

It’s like at first being annoyed by a child who likes to play in ways that annoy us so much that we scold or spank him. But later we understand that it’s natural for a child to play and act like that, so we leave him alone. We let go and our troubles are over. Why are they over? Because we now accept the natural ways of children. Our outlook has changed and we now accept the true nature of things. We let go and our heart becomes more peaceful.

We now have right understanding.

- Ajahn Chah

1.10.2013

耹听的功夫Listening

真的,我越来越觉得"耹听"是一门上乘的武功。
因为,不是每个长耳朵的人都会聆听。

通常看到听到的不是争着讲话,就是互相打断对方。
最害怕听到的是,你才刚开口,对方就"no, no, no, you listen to me first!" 。
要不,当你还没把话讲完,对方的脑电波已经输送完毕,急着抢白:"no, no, no, you are wrong!"。他怎么可能会有读心术呢?那只不过是他揣测且认定你要讲但未讲完的话就是他想的这般那样。于是,我的研究显示,和这种人讲话,你必须挑重点,而且要以每秒五十字的速度表达自己。当然,估计就算是rap高手也办不到。

所以,不管你遇到的是第一种人,还是第二种人,都是累人的不良沟通。

听的原字是"聽",拆开来就是:耳者为王,十目一心。不是说有耳朵的就能称王,而是指善于用心聆听乃王者的品格。重点在"一心"二字。

我的洋人上司当然不懂中国人造字的巧妙,可是她却是聆听的佼佼者。位高权重的她总有忙不完的事,桌上满是如山的文件堆,还需两架电脑同时操作,然而她的办公室门却总是愿意敞开着。那怕是一名小职员突然闯进来说:"boss, I need to talk.",她会从容地放下手上的工作,回头看着你说:"okay, take a seat." 绝不会因为忙而不愿意聆听,也不会因为职位高而隨意打断对方的话。

这种整装待发且一心一意的聆听功力,我想可比九阳神功罢!


1.09.2013

记老公生日

没有陪老公过生日,因为他出差去了。想说他很可忴,要捱着广西的冷天气,在文件堆中度牛一,他却满嘴脸不在乎。问他有啥愿望,他说没有去想。问他要什么礼物,他说不需要。连敷衍我都不肯,真是气死人的潇洒!

这一天,说特别也不怎么特别地溜走了。就像刚过去的一月一号,我们没有回顾2012年,却也不怎么计划2013年。"过去"已过去,不能改变,只好放下。"未来"还未来,不能预见,只能隨它。但是我们並非因此而消极,只是看清事实后,想生活得更自在些,计划之余仍容得下变化。

哦,好像偏离主题了!
反正在今天结束前,要留下点墨祝他生日快乐,每天都快乐自在。
因为是母难日,也要谢谢妈,把他养得那么好,这么壮。
谢谢老公在爱惜自己的同时,也爱护着我。
谢谢他有那么多让我学习的优点的同时,也有数不清的缺点让我可以圆满他。
就因为身边有他这个紧紧牵手的人,纵然这生活再磨人,相信我也不会轻易言败。

我不会写诗,也欠缺浪漫,只好直白地表达,如果冷到你,请多多包涵咯!:P

Photo by SunnySan